So as we headed back home from Mammoth, we decided that we would stop at a place called Alabama Hills, which happens to be a location that is very popular for westerns and movies like Iron Man. Once you step foot here, you can definitely see why — with these amazing rock formations, and a backdrop like those mountains, it’s easy to see why Hollywood loves to film at this location.
Whenever I travel, I always end up learning something new about myself — my behaviors, and how I cope with things. Putting yourself into new situations always does that. One of the biggest lessons I learned was how much pressure I put on myself to “perform” when I’m shooting sometimes & how valuable it is for me to let go instead.
I had challenged myself to shoot only film for this entire trip (I didn’t even bring my digital camera — I only had an iphone if I ever wanted digitals), and I found it difficult for me to get in the “mood” of shooting. I think mainly because I was putting pressure on myself to produce amazing images. And I was having a hard time feeling good about the images I was creating because 1) I wasn’t feeling how I was expecting myself to feel (inspired at every. little. thing!) & 2) I couldn’t actually see what I was producing, so I didn’t know how good my images actually were. But after realizing that I needed to let go, stop putting those expectations on myself, and just let things speak to me, it made the experience so much better. I began to feel good about the images I was creating, even if I couldn’t see the end result of what I was actually shooting. And that in itself made the whole trip even better, because I was fully allowing myself to be in the moment, and letting that move me, rather than putting thoughts of what the trip should be, and how I should feel.
Putting expectations on yourself and your work is never a good thing, because you end up creating from a not-so-honest place. You end up creating from a place that isn’t your own. Images that truly move are from a place of authenticity. A place that comes from deep within. And from now on that is where I want to be when I create images.
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Mamiya 645 | Portra 160 & 400
Canon QL17 | Tri-x