Archive for the ‘Personal’ Category

So as we headed back home from Mammoth, we decided that we would stop at a place called Alabama Hills, which happens to be a location that is very popular for westerns and movies like Iron Man. Once you step foot here, you can definitely see why — with these amazing rock formations, and a backdrop like those mountains, it’s easy to see why Hollywood loves to film at this location.

Whenever I travel, I always end up learning something new about myself — my behaviors, and how I cope with things. Putting yourself into new situations always does that. One of the biggest lessons I learned was how much pressure I put on myself to “perform” when I’m shooting sometimes & how valuable it is for me to let go instead.

I had challenged myself to shoot only film for this entire trip (I didn’t even bring my digital camera — I only had an iphone if I ever wanted digitals), and I found it difficult for me to get in the “mood” of shooting. I think mainly because I was putting pressure on myself to produce amazing images. And I was having a hard time feeling good about the images I was creating because 1) I wasn’t feeling how I was expecting myself to feel (inspired at every. little. thing!) & 2) I couldn’t actually see what I was producing, so I didn’t know how good my images actually were. But after realizing that I needed to let go, stop putting those expectations on myself, and just let things speak to me, it made the experience so much better. I began to feel good about the images I was creating, even if I couldn’t see the end result of what I was actually shooting. And that in itself made the whole trip even better, because I was fully allowing myself to be in the moment, and letting that move me, rather than putting thoughts of what the trip should be, and how I should feel.

Putting expectations on yourself and your work is never a good thing, because you end up creating from a not-so-honest place. You end up creating from a place that isn’t your own. Images that truly move are from a place of authenticity. A place that comes from deep within. And from now on that is where I want to be when I create images.

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Mamiya 645 | Portra 160 & 400
Canon QL17 | Tri-x

On our second day in the Mammoth area, Jasmine and I decided we would do two things — visit the top of Mammoth Mountain and then head to Mono Lake and explore. The top of the mountain is beautiful — it’s a shame that 1) I’m pretty afraid of heights & 2) I can’t snowboard well enough to go down any of those slopes, because I’m sure it would be an amazing ride.

After seeing the sights on the top of the mountain, we headed to Mono Lake, which actually ended up being colder than the top of the mountain due to the high winds. But it was also completely magical, with its strange tufas, foam (yes, that is foam next to the water — not snow) & magical sky sunsets.

Stay tuned for day three, the final day — where we visited Alabama Hills — a magical place & a film location to many a westerns as well as the movie Iron Man ;)

Mamiya 645 | Portra 160 & 400
Canon QL17 | Tri-x

 

 

One of my favorite things in the world is snow. I think some people think it’s crazy, but I far prefer cold weather to warm weather! There is just something magical about the quiet, the chill, and the bundling up.  Huddling with friends around the fire, having drinks, & enjoying ourselves. And seeing a landscape totally change. It’s mysterious and beautiful.

This is part one of a three day excursion through the Mammoth Mountain area with my dear friend Jasmine (who you may remember from my last post of the Salton Sea.) I apologize ahead of time as this post (and the future posts of Mammoth) are all very Jasmine-heavy, since she was the one person I spent the most time with, as we went out and explored and frolicked the area. In fact, this is not the first time she and I have gone out on our own and took many photos of one another while exploring a new location — we began this tradition years ago and named them “frolics.” And because of that, I credit her for breaking me of my in-front-of-camera shyness. :)

Stay tuned for day two & three, where we visit Mono Lake, and the most beautiful landscape of Alabama Hills.

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Mamiya 645 | Portra 400
Canon QL17 | Tri-x (probably expired)
Polaroid 420 Land Camera | Fuji 3000B

 

salton sea . adventure.

March 22, 2013

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with some of my favorite people in the entire world. i love these girls.

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Mamiya 645
Kodak Portra 160 & 400


text design by the wonderful jasmine fitzwilliam, photo & quote by me

It’s been a while since I’ve written anything really personal on here. This past year has been a bit of a blur, and it has been amazing, but I am so looking forward 2013, because I know that there are big things in the horizon for me.

2012 was a great one, most notably that I worked heavily on my movement from within project. On top of that, I got published in a magazine for one of my dance photos, auditioned for So You Think You Can Dance (I’m serious — never did get a chance to blog about that!), had my first showing for my dance photos, camped solo for the first time ever & got lost in the snow, sky dived, went to Yosemite multiple times (can you believe it was my first time there only a year ago??), helped a friend open a dance studio, photographed & navigated my way through my very first big commercial project & the biggest step of all for me — I launched my personal portfolio.

I have big dreams for 2013, two of which I will briefly share here.

Firstly, I have been thinking the last few months that I would really like to take my movement from within sessions outside of Southern California. I know there are so many people out there who I could reach out to, I just need to get to them! So I have begun brainstorming a project, one that involves Kickstarter, that will allow me to reach all those dancers outside of the Southern California radius. I don’t know if this crazy idea will even work, but I have to at least give it a try. There are so many people’s lives I know I can reach, if I can just get to them!

Secondly, film has been inching its way back into my life. I have been shooting film on and off for the past few years — & before that, it hadn’t been since college. But over the last few months, I have been feeling an overwhelming need to shoot film again. A lot. There is something with film that I don’t get with digital — it’s not just the results, but the process for me. It’s so easy to shoot off a hundred frames in digital without a second thought, but I realized that when I do that, I’m not truly paying attention to what I’m shooting cause I have multiple frames to fall back on. With film, I am literally paying per image, so I have to be more conscious of what I am framing. In other words, I am totally paying attention to what’s in front of me. On top of that, I don’t  have a screen on the back of the camera, making me obsess with the results of the image, like I do with digital. Instead, shooting film gives me the freedom of not worrying about the outcome, and instead, I focus all my attention on what’s in front of me, and just the process of creating.

Both of these dreams, if anything, is an experiment. I don’t know what the outcome will truly be with either one, but I know that my heart is pulling me in that direction, so I must follow. And I must get out there. My quote above feels very fitting for all this too, because in many ways, I am leaping. The whole of 2013 feels like one big leap for me. Into more film, into my dance project, into all the other big dreams I have tucked in my little pocket. :)

I hope the same for you too, friends. I have always been about adventure in life, as well as getting out there. Life is too short to not follow your dreams, to not go where your heart tugs. No one has ever said that they regretted following their hearts. Sure, it can be rough, it can be a lot of work. But the feeling of joy one gets from it, is second to none. Maybe falling in love. ;) But following your heart is very much like falling in love, I think. Instead of falling in love with someone else though, you fall in love with yourself — and the world. <3

So here’s to 2013, may it be filled with dreams, adventures & getting out there — whatever that may be for you. :)

 

It’s time to cozy up for winter, and what a better way to prepare for a winter baby than to have a knitted theme baby shower?? Cassidy was at it again (check out her daughter’s first birthday here) with her cousin Nikki’s baby shower! It was a beautiful party filled with knitwear, teepees, felt animals, lace and glitter crowns, woods, and sparkles! Inspired by the beauty of knitwear mixed with a bit of a glamping, it was a party filled with charm!

Nikki is also due any moment right now, so here’s a shout in hopes of baby Imogen’s arrival soon! I can’t wait to meet you!