adventures in mammoth mountain . day three.

April 10, 2013

So as we headed back home from Mammoth, we decided that we would stop at a place called Alabama Hills, which happens to be a location that is very popular for westerns and movies like Iron Man. Once you step foot here, you can definitely see why — with these amazing rock formations, and a backdrop like those mountains, it’s easy to see why Hollywood loves to film at this location.

Whenever I travel, I always end up learning something new about myself — my behaviors, and how I cope with things. Putting yourself into new situations always does that. One of the biggest lessons I learned was how much pressure I put on myself to “perform” when I’m shooting sometimes & how valuable it is for me to let go instead.

I had challenged myself to shoot only film for this entire trip (I didn’t even bring my digital camera — I only had an iphone if I ever wanted digitals), and I found it difficult for me to get in the “mood” of shooting. I think mainly because I was putting pressure on myself to produce amazing images. And I was having a hard time feeling good about the images I was creating because 1) I wasn’t feeling how I was expecting myself to feel (inspired at every. little. thing!) & 2) I couldn’t actually see what I was producing, so I didn’t know how good my images actually were. But after realizing that I needed to let go, stop putting those expectations on myself, and just let things speak to me, it made the experience so much better. I began to feel good about the images I was creating, even if I couldn’t see the end result of what I was actually shooting. And that in itself made the whole trip even better, because I was fully allowing myself to be in the moment, and letting that move me, rather than putting thoughts of what the trip should be, and how I should feel.

Putting expectations on yourself and your work is never a good thing, because you end up creating from a not-so-honest place. You end up creating from a place that isn’t your own. Images that truly move are from a place of authenticity. A place that comes from deep within. And from now on that is where I want to be when I create images.

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Mamiya 645 | Portra 160 & 400
Canon QL17 | Tri-x

3 Responses to “adventures in mammoth mountain . day three.”

  1. Teresa says:

    I hate to be the one to break it to you, but you produced AMAZING images. ;) Susan – these are magical and I’m glad you were able to find the “letting go” part of your voice. That’s where the magic lies. <3

  2. Jasmine says:

    Teresa, you did not hate to be the one to break it to her. ;)

    Susan, I watched you transform on this adventure, and it was a beautiful thing. A metamorphosis of self-discovery. I saw it in you, and I was inspired. These photographs make me itch to return, but also make me feel that sense of discovery and power.

    I am so proud of you for taking the film-only risk, and I can’t wait to see you keep doing it!

  3. mel says:

    Lovely once again. On our road trip last year, I shot with the Holga while Matt used our digital camera – mainly for the same reasons you chose to shoot with only film. Even though I’m only an amateur (if even that!), I felt like I was getting too consumed by reviewing my digital shots and not enjoying the moment in person. I was experiencing everything more through the camera than actually in person, if that makes sense. And, like you, I felt more free and more in the moment during our trip! My pictures turned out like crap, but I don’t regret it. :)