Each one of us has our own voice, our own way of speaking. Dance is no different than this, except for the fact that instead of speaking with words, it speaks with movement. As I progressed more into my dancer’s soul series, there were still moments where I was wasn’t entirely sure where I was going with these series. What my voice was. All I knew is that I wanted to photograph dancers differently that what one normally sees when they think of dance photography. But as I photograph each dancer, the path becomes more and more clear.

Meet Melissa, a beautiful dancer who happens to be one of my dance instructors. We met when she took over the adult jazz class at the studio, and she and I hit it off. We gabbed like we were old friends. :) I told her about my dance project and immediately asked her if she would like to be a part of it.

Often when I go into these shoots, I don’t have a set idea of what is going to happen. The same happens for many of my other shoots – like with engagements and weddings, and etc. I may scout out locations to get a feel for the place and perhaps the light, but for the most part, I am winging it along the way. When something captures my fancy, I gravitate towards it. When it comes to shooting people, a lot of the factor not only comes with the location, but the people themselves. Shooting people is an art that requires connecting with people, and most importantly, authentically capturing them in the best way possible. And I don’t mean the perfectly posed portrait. I mean looking towards the best in them and saying: you are enough.

In this, it means making them comfortable and allowing them to be themselves and speak freely through not only their voices but their movement, their body language. That is not the easiest task in the world to do — a lot of times when a camera is pointed at someone, they will put up a “front,” pose, make a camera-worthy face and put their best foot forward. I am totally guilty of this myself! There is nothing wrong with that, but it’s not who they are deep down. And that is what I am interested in when I photograph people. The beauty that emanates from within. When people feel comfortable enough to let themselves go.

Coming back to dancers, there is one thing that I think happens with classically trained dancers — they tend to bury their own voice when they dance. Not everyone does this — the dancers that are truly captivating have the ability to let their own soul seep into their movement, but many dancers tend to shove this in the back corners of themselves because classically trained dancers are almost always told what to do. How to look. How perfect your line should be. No, that’s not good enough, keep pushing. That foot could be pointed just a little bit more. That leg could be extended just a little more. And even if it’s not necessarily coming from someone else, it will be coming internally — comparing themselves to others who can do all those things they can’t. It’s a dangerous thing, and causes one to put themselves aside to strive to be someone else (or a more perfect version of themselves) because they no longer think that they are enough. Like I’ve stated before, it is important for dancers to improve skills, but I also think it is important to not lose sight of who you are in that movement.

When Melissa and I first began shooting, I asked her to warm up and dance to a few songs while I snapped away. The beginning of a shoot is always the “getting to know you” phase where we feel each other out and begin to get comfortable around one another. About halfway through the shoot, I noticed that I felt more when I saw Melissa dancing with her upper body. When I saw her putting her energy through her upper half — it’s as if I felt her talking. Speaking. Her dancer’s soul coming straight on through. It was after that realization that I asked her to focus her energy on her upper half and from that point on I began to get really excited about the images because then I felt like I could see her. She was speaking to me. And that was enough.

I realized after this shoot that there is another dimension to these series that I did not consider until now. The idea that these shoots are giving dancers a platform to speak. Speak from their own voices. Not just something someone else choreographed. I want to hear them. I want them to come out so that they can reconnect with that thing that made them want to dance so badly in the first place years ago.  Sure, it can be connected with through improv dance as well, but I feel like there is something more vulnerable with having that photographed because it’s like you can see the layers and dimension and depth in a photo that you may not get otherwise save being right in front of them. Plus you can revisit that moment more & not only that, I feel like a photograph allows you to sit in a moment for longer than you might in any other way. In this – it’s scarier to be photographed doing something so vulnerable.

But the beauty you see in it is definitely second to none — save for being in that very moment yourself.

I have made it a goal of mine in 2012 to photograph at least one dancer every month for this project. Who knows where the path will take me, but I just know that each time I photograph a dancer, I gain a indispensable amount of insight that makes the shoots themselves just totally worth it. I feel like I am creating and working towards something very worthwhile here, and that gives me great, great joy . !

(If you know of any dancers that may be interested in this project, please have them contact me! mail at enpointephotography dot com)

past dancers: emily | tiffany

san diego, california
temple beth israel & the new children’s museum

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This beautiful, fun-filled wedding was held at San Diego’s oldest synagogue, and the second oldest in the American West with the reception at the amazingly awesome New Children’s museum! This was a beautiful wedding, and I am honored to have been a part of it. Plus, who wouldn’t want to photograph inside a rainbow bounce tube?! ;)

wedding coordination . melissa barrad . i do weddings
ceremony location . temple beth israel
reception . the new children’s museum

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Darling little Julia is growing bigger! You might remember her from her newborn session a few months ago — now look at her! When she smiles it just makes me melt. :)

I don’t shoot family/lifestyle sessions as much as I do weddings, but I am so thrilled when I do because it is such a enjoyable time with some beautiful people. Especially when there is baby in tow! It’s even more fun when I get to see the progression of people’s lives, and the growth of a child. Such a wonderful thing that I am blessed to do. :)

Temecula & Rancho Bernardo, CA

Pala Mesa Resort & Pearl Cuisine Chinese Restaurant

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This was a wedding filled with fun, games, corgi’s as ring bearers, tree planting, & love. I was kind of obsessed with the ivy, if you couldn’t already tell. So lovely. Plus, this wedding also produced one of my most favorite polaroids to date. <3 What more could you ask for? Best wishes to you both, Tiffany & Michael! xo

(photo of me dancing taken by my dear dear friend, jasmine)

It was my birthday earlier this week — the big three-oh! I know friends who panicked at the idea of turning 30; we no longer can say we’re “twenty-something,” and we can no longer blame our youth on things. But I think the thing that scares people the most is that 30 is like some age marker that we set for ourselves when we were younger. How many of us thought that at age thirty, we’d have it all figured out and that we’d have achieved goals that we had set for ourselves when we were younger? Or at least, we’d be well on our way. To be honest, turning 30 didn’t feel all that scary to me, mainly I think because I feel like I’ve accomplished so much already at the age of 30. Are they all the things that I thought that I would accomplish when I was young? No, but it doesn’t diminish them – my life goals just shifted as I got older. And what I have achieved in the thirty years I have been alive is certainly something to be proud of, and very, very thankful for.

The biggest accomplishment (outside of my photography ventures), I would have to say is reaching a point that I’ve always wanted to reach when I was a little girl — and that is to dance en pointe in ballet. I don’t think I’ve actually blogged about that here — I’ve mentioned it on twitter and facebook, but for some reason, I never brought it up here.

(photo of tiffany, taken when we did her dance shoot)

Funny, because it is such a huge thing. I mean, my business name is called En Pointe! It’s something I’ve always, always wanted, and it only took me 25ish years (going back to when I began to want to become a ballerina) to achieve it. It is such a huge thing because I was 29 when I started doing pointe work (I started classical ballet training at 18 and attended classes on and off), and I know of so many people who think that since they didn’t start young, they can’t do something like that. There are so many things in life that are like that — things that we desire to do, but we think because we’re no longer “young” we can’t do them. We can’t achieve them. Like our age is some barrier from actually doing it! Sure, with age comes physical problems, but I think with age, comes the understanding of our own bodies & selves better. On top of that, I honestly think that with passion, commitment, and a love of whatever you’re doing and a true desire to do it, you can achieve anything.

(photo of tiffany, taken when we did her dance shoot)

Which brings me back to beginning pointe. There are times in ballet class when I can’t believe I’m actually doing pointe work – it is seriously a dream come true. And for that I can’t be more thankful.

I am externally thankful for these 30 years, and I am so extremely excited to see what the year & decade has to bring. I am thankful for a loving better half, my beautiful friends, my amazing job & clients, and the ability to do the things that I love so much. <3

Happy Thanksgiving to you all and I hope you spend lots & lots of quality time with all the people and things that make your life rich! xo

alpine loop scenic byway, utah.
october 2011

(left: arriving into utah, right: leaving utah)

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Would you believe me if I told you this was the first time I experience real snowfall? Because it was. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve seen snow on the ground, and I have even experienced seeing snow falling from the sky, but this is the first time I’ve ever seen snow falling and having it stick to the ground & plants & trees & other delightful things! You should’ve seen me — I was dancing around like a kid in the candy store! I know this sounds like total crazytalk to some of you who grew up living in the snow-filled winters, but living in California, you rarely experience snow unless you a) live in the mountains or b) visit said mountains. And I grew up totally sheltered, so to see this was a total delight for me!

Apparently this was the first snowfall of the season in Utah too, where I was attending a photography workshop (the Film Is Not Dead Workshop, which I will be sharing about another time) at the time. This was the last day I was there, and was due to fly out in only a few hours, so I needed to kill some time and what a better way to do that than to explore the area? The weather had turned into a total stinker – it was raining pretty heavily, so I was limited in what I could do. I knew about the Alpine Loop from others at the workshop, and the front desk at the hotel told me that it was a  beautiful drive, but discouraged me from driving it in this weather. When I got into my car to decide I sat there for a good minute and thought, yes, I’m going to do it. And I am so glad I did because magical snow awaited!

Coincidentally, fall/early winter is my absolute favorite time of the year — I always feel so inspired and in awe much more than any other time of the year. So to see this was like drinking a cup of the most refreshing thing ever — it totally filled me up.

What is your favorite time of the year and why? Do you love fall/winter as much as I do? Or do you love to bask in the summer sun like so many others that I know? I always feel like I’m alone with my love of this season (except for other photographers, that is)! I mean, come on, who can’t love weather that allows me to wear my cute coats, scarves, gloves and socks that I hoard up all year long?! ;)